Heart Desires the Forbidden

Source: Internet

Divya tried to concentrate on the pile of work lying on her desk. It was a Monday morning and with backlogs from the week before, she was inundated with loads of them. But the last thing she wanted right now was work.

She was finding it absolutely difficult to concentrate or even sit at her office desk with Raghav sitting diagonally opposite to her and every few seconds their eyes met and a feeling of discomfort sank in.

She tried to ignore and get back to her work, but destiny behaved in a harsh way with her as she was assigned a project which was to be worked in collaboration with Raghav.

Raghav mailed and let her know that they will start on the project after lunch.

Lunch approached quickly and Divya tried to flush down morsels of food with huge gulps of water since she had lost appetite for food or anything else.

Saturday night incident appeared in flashes and she had to fight back her tears, which challenged to drop any moment.

Why did she get totally drunk in her office party and then do stuff she was bound to be unhappy and ashamed of? Why didn’t she stop herself from going forward and strangely, why did she enjoy what she did? Why were there no regrets or remorse of what happened?

When she failed to answer these questions, she pushed the rest of the food down her throat and got up for a walk outside the office. All she needed now was fresh air and some sunshine.

She went out in the sunny weather and drenched herself with the afternoon sun and warm air. She thought about the consequences of her Saturday night act and the impact it will have on her for the next few days.

She had this nagging feeling that though she is going crazy with all such thoughts, Raghav seemed to be unfazed by anything. He was as normal as any day and nothing seemed to affect him at all. This thought made her even more livid and she vowed herself to stop thinking at all.

She returned back to her desk and saw Raghav waiting for her. It was way past lunch time and it was time she loathed having to spend.

She sat silently and began opening all files and folders related to the project. While they were discussing work, Raghav got a call. The screen flashed a name and Divya instantly knew who it was and saw Raghav shifting uncomfortably on his chair when their eyes met.

She encouraged him to take the call and tried to focus on the assignment. She could hear him whisper to his girl that he is caught with work and will return back her call soon.

Divya felt a pang of jealousy and uneasiness as Raghav spoke to his girlfriend.

She could hear his voice croaking in her ears as he spoke to Divya the other day when they were utterly drunk and were quite vulnerable to each other.

She felt her quivering lips on his and the way their lips danced around with each other. She felt the warmth that ran through her body when he undid her shirt buttons and felt her skin.

She felt the hunger in both their bodies as they tried to grope and fondle each other. She felt a passion, a desire that her body had yearned for in the past couple of months since Tarun had left the city for his new job in Bangalore.

Tarun – remembering this name her senses returned back and she found herself sweating profusely. She left abruptly for the washroom and slapped several gallons of cold water onto her face to get back to reality.

She returned feeling hot and flushed. One look at Raghav told her that he understood her dilemma. “Oh, can he really understand my dilemma?” thought Divya. He doesn’t even have a hint of what she had undergone in the last few hours after the incident. He didn’t even have the courtesy to call or message and ask if everything was alright.

“But no problem”, thought Divya “I’m going to make sure I’m absolutely all right and be as normal as I can be”.

She came around and took her seat and got back to what they were doing.

Their knees brushed each other under the desk as they were working, bringing them back to a standstill.

Sensing the tension between them, Raghav motioned Divya to step out of the office for a few minutes since he wanted to discuss certain things.

Divya was hesitant but went ahead anyway. They moved to the smoking zone and Raghav lit a cigarette before looking into Divya’s eyes. “We’ll have to get back to being normal as soon as possible, since that’s the only solution we have right now” went Raghav.

Divya hung her head low while listening to his ramblings of “it was not right”, “it was a mistake”, “we have to move on”, and “relax and chill”.

She looked up into eyes and said, “I know everything that you are saying, yet my heart desires the forbidden, my mind warns me but my heart is singing a different tune all together”.

Divya bit her lips after uttering these words. “What was I just rattling off? What has got to me? This is absolutely absurd, absolutely bizarre”. She looked stunned at herself, at what she had just spoken. All she could do to avoid embarrassment was to run away from the scene and she did just that.

Walking nervously back to her desk, she continued looking at the screen, while forming fresh images of her last moments of togetherness with Raghav. She felt ashamed, embarrassed, ridiculous, hurt and abused, all at the same time.

Even though she had the guilt of what she did, Divya liked what happened and started to nurture a feeling, which can be termed totally wrong, yet pleasant.

She knew she had to come out of this and shift back her loyalty. Yet an unsaid emotion was growing inside her.

With great difficulty she went back to her work and tried to finish it before she left for the day. Raghav returned, discussed work and went back to his seat.

The day ended with difficulty and so did the next few days. Divya started to return back to her normal self but with a bruise which was fading away slowly yet imprinted with a permanent mark.

Raghav and Divya continued to meet, discuss and work together but it was strictly professional and nothing was discussed beyond that.

Days flew and Tarun was due to visit Mumbai in a couple of days. Divya decided to tell him everything. They met at the airport and went straight to a restaurant to have dinner. Tarun was happily chatting about his new job and how things are shaping up in his new office.

Divya looked lost but tried to put up an interesting face. Finally when she could take no more, she blurted out every single aspect of the story, talking about her professional relationship with Raghav, about the office party where she got herself heavily drunk and ultimately to her infidelity, even if it was only for an evening.

Tarun listened to her patiently but his face flushed red with every single description of the story. Divya could see anger ooze out of his eyes and she could say no more.

Tarun walked out of the restaurant after paying the bill and didn’t stop to see if Divya was still with him. Divya tagged along and was apologizing profusely, yet Tarun didn’t stop.

Finally after reaching a less crowded street, he offered his anger by mentioning that she has acted like a typical whore and that he doesn’t want her in his life ever. Divya cried, pleaded, begged, but it had no effect on Tarun. He left her crying and sobbing on the street and took a cab and left.

While Divya was still crying on the pavement of an unknown street, Tarun called a number on his cell phone and excitedly gave the news that the problem has been solved by itself and now nothing can ever keep them apart. He just broke up with his girlfriend and there’s no stopping from now on.

“Wait till I get back to Bangalore Baby!” he purred into the cell phone. Keeping the phone down, Tarun smiled to himself thinking how very lucky he is.

He had started to like Aisha from the time he was introduced to her in his new office. He began dating her shortly after and was thinking of ways to get rid of Divya. He did get rid of Divya, and how!

Smiling and chuckling he headed towards his home while Divya was bleeding her heart out on the street cursing herself and praying for Tarun’s forgiveness.